Words must be chosen carefully, along with the tone we use and our very presentation. Our words have the power to hurt and wound or heal others. Scripture is replete with admonitions to be extremely careful with our speech. 

Solomon advises: “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” (Proverbs 16:24)

That said, is it every appropriate to “say it like it is?” Is there a time when we can safely and respectfully speak bold truth? Is there a time when we should stand firm, speak surely and even sternly? I think so. 
​

When we begin our life together, we sometimes imagine that the right choices will be obvious. Enemies of our relationship will loom large and ugly in the distance, and opportunities to express our affection will announce themselves with neon lights in our faces.
But if you’ve been married for more than five minutes, you’ve probably discovered that this isn’t true. The true enemies of marriage don’t always come with clear warnings and easy names, like infidelity or mother-in-law.

Author: Dr. David B. Hawkins
(The Marriage Recovery Center)

I am asked by couples to “save our marriage.” They are desperate and diligently seeking help. Tired and worn, frantic to figure out what is going on to wreak such havoc, they often travel great distances to work with me. 
Most of the stories share similar themes: They have tried numerous counselors before me; they say, “This is our last attempt to save our marriage”; they want me to speak boldly into their life
It is this last point I wish to highlight. 
“Do you want me to share what I see that might be going wrong?” I ask. 
“Oh yes,” the couple proclaims. “We wouldn’t have come all this way if we didn’t want your help.”